My Sad Obsession
by VChan1
Summary: Seifer and Quistis are forced together against their will, and have to ignore the urge to kill each other. Chapter 6 is up, in which Quistis prepares for her date. PG, Seifer swears like always.
1. Default Chapter

  
Disclaimor: I don't own any of these characters, sadly. Maybe for my birthday.  
  
  
Authors Notes: This is a Quistis/Seifer fanfic, kinda funny (in my own opinion), kinda serious, in which Quistis and Seifer are forced together against their will, and have to try their damnedest not to kill each other. This chapter's short, it's just the intro, really. PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!  
  
  
  
  
  
Chapter One: Blessed Union...Or Not.  
  
  
It was a regular day at Garden for Seifer. Warm outside, and cold as hell inside. He had gotten used to his classmates icy glares since his return to Garden. Yes, that's right, Seifer was back at Garden. It took a lot of whining to Edea- though Seifer wouldn't have called it whining, of course-, several interviews with Cid, and finally a threat to Cid from Edea to break a certain part of his physically anatomy, the part that made him a man, if he refused Seifer's readmittance. After hiding in the bathroom for several hours, Cid grudgingly consented to allow Seifer to return to Garden. That turned out to be the easy part. The hard part was living in a place with several hundred other people who knew and despised him. Fujin and Raijin followed him back to Garden, and Edea arranged for Seifer and Raijin to share a room. At least Seifer didn't have to worry about being suffocated in his sleep by a room mate who hated him. Which would have been anyone but Raijin, really.   
After awhile, he began to get used to Garden again. Still, everytime he got a nasty look or muttered insult, it cut. He refused to admit it, but it dragged up a pang of guilt along with painful memories. Or lack thereof. He couldn't remember much of the Sorceress Knight deal. Edea had came up with the excuse that he was possessed, but he didn't really know if that was true or not. After all, if he couldn't remember what happened, how could he say if he was possessed? Or crazy, or hypnotized, or anything? He didn't know. Oh, he knew what he did. Everyone made quite sure of that. But he couldn't remember actually doing it. The days and nights he spent playing knight blended together and left a large, gaping hole in his memory. Once in awhile, something would trigger a response in him, and a memory would come rushing back. It would run in a blur through his mind, and dissolve into nothing as he desperately tried to grab hold of it, of something, anything, to remember. Something to cling onto. But no matter how he tried, as quickly as it came it was gone, leaving him weak-kneed and confused. Nothing scared or irritated him more than the fact that he simply didn't know. He couldn't remember. Anything. That he had done such horrible things, and never realised it. That his own self was beyond his control. When he heard for the first time how he had tortured Squall in the D-District Prison, he got physically sick. Listening to the story, he could smell the burning flesh. Finally, he fled from the room to the bathroom. It took him nearly the rest of the day to recover. The Garden kids thought he was disgusting for what he did. He was more disgusted than they were. But he couldn't tell them that, even if he wanted it. He couldn't begin to explain how it felt. He didn't know that many words. And really, he didn't want to. He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to think about it. It was easier, not thinking.  
Seifer reached the first floor elevator and began the ascent to Cid's office.  
  
  
Edea frowned and studied the group carefully. Cid sat off to the side, leaning against his desk. Squall and Rinoa stood in front of her. Next to Squall were Quistis and Zell, and on Rinoa's other side were Selphie and Irving. They were arranged in a half circle before Edea.  
"This is very important, that you listen carefully and follow directions. When I mentioned this idea to Rinoa, I had no idea that she would actually suggest me performing such an act," Edea began.  
"What are you doing?" Selphie asked  
"Yeah, I know, what's going on? I'm as lost as Selphie over there," Irvine added.  
Zell glanced at Selphie and snickered. "You couldn't be that lost."  
"HEY!" Selphie exclaimed indignantly.  
"Come on, guys, knock it off," Quistis interrupted. "Let Matron finish."  
Edea continued. "I will cast an enchantment on Squall. It basically draws out a small part of his soul as an aura around him. Then, when Rinoa kisses him, she will draw that part into her, and part of her will become part of him. They will be, literally, soul mates. Bound together for life. It's a physical marriage, really. Much more powerful, much more binding, but without legal recognition."  
Zell looked wary. "What do you mean, 'binding'?"  
"They'll be forced to stay together. Rinoa will be able to go to the movies alone, simple things like that. But if she were to move back to Timber and never see Squall again, the force of their union would work against her. She would crave the part of her soul she lost with him, making her physically ill. If she were to part from him for a day, she may develop a head ache. A week, she'd feel like she had the flu. A year, she'd be miserably sick. She'd feel like one of the living dead."  
"How long could they be separated?" Quistis asked.  
"However long their bodies could take it. Like I said, she'd feel ill. It would last until she decided she couldn't stand it anymore, and went back to him again. The same would work for Squall."  
"Till death do you part," Quistis muttered thoughtfully.  
"Squall, Rinoa, are you both sure after all I've said that this is what you want?"   
Squall and Rinoa looked at each other for a moment, then nodded. "Yes..." Rinoa said softly, taking Squall's hand.   
"You believe you are prepared to have to spend the rest of your lives together?"  
"Yes.." Rinoa repeated. Squall nodded seriously.  
"Then I'll begin. You four who are watching, it's important that is all you do. Watch. Please remain quiet so I may concentrate. I've never done this before. And above all, it is critical that you stay where you are. Do NOT move in the way, or the spell may be targeted at the wrong person." Edea closed her eyes and took a breath in. Tilting her head back, ancient Cetric words began flowing naturally from her. She raised her arms, crossing them in front of her.   
Squall's eyes closed then as well, and he looked as if he was in a deep, peaceful sleep. The stream of words continued to flow steadily from Edea. The people in the room watched in awe to see what would happen next.  
And they would never forget what happened next.   
Seifer burst into Cid's office, having worked himself up into a pretty good burn. Since his readmittance at Garden, he was not allowed to be armed unless he was training. Everytime he wanted to go to the training center or had to practice fighting in class, he had to go up to Cid's office and request his Hyperion. Seifer found that an incredible annoyance, and more than that, humiliating. If he thought about it long enough, he could get himself into a real temper. Which is what he had done now. He pushed past Squall, heading towards Cid, who was still sitting on his desk.  
"Outta the way," he snapped, pushing Squall. And all hell broke loose at once.  
"Seifer, NO!" Quistis exclaimed.  
"Watch out!" Selphie cried.  
"Dammit, man, get OUT of the WAY!" Zell yelled.  
Edea chanted the last words of the spell. "Exus lucias lux."  
  
Seifer's eyes closed suddenly, and he began glowing with a light purple tinge to his skin. The physical lines of his body became blurred as a dark mist surrounded him. Edea yelled, realising what had just happened. "Someone has to take the part of his soul I just released into their body!"  
Everyone just stared, frozen in horror. Edea continued, "Someone has to kiss him and draw him into them. He can't stay like that, he's going to die!"  
Quistis realised with dull horror that Seifer's skin was going from purple to blue. He was choking. She reacted without thinking, quickly stepping forward and kissing him.  
  



	2. Drawing Attention

  
Disclaimer: Much like in the last chapter, I still don't own the characters. Imagine that. Some people in a company called Squaresoft do.  
  
Authors Notes: I got a lot more reviews than I ever expected for this, I'd like to thank everyone who reviewed. Seeing all the nice comments for this story really made my day. I changed the title from Ties that Bind to My Sad Obsession. I really didn't know WHAT to call this story, so I made up "Ties that Bind". But to be honest, I thought that wasn't the best title, I just couldn't think of anything better. Still, I wasn't happy with it. Then I saw about 20 other stories called "The Ties that Bind" and just HAD to change it. I didn't want a name 20 other stories already took. Too confusing, not to mention the lack of originality. So, I changed the title, but this is the SAME story.   
One other thing: This story is about Quistis and Seifer being forced together. However, I'm still undecided as to whether Seifer and Quistis should get together in the end, romantically speaking. Do I make them a couple or just have them drive each other crazy? It's time for reader involvement, what do you think? (Note: No matter what happens, I am NOT gonna put Seifer and Rinoa together, that's not an option for me.)  
  
  
Chapter Two: Drawing Attention  
  
Quistis stepped forward and kissed Seifer, sealing herself to him forever. Her skin began to glow as if she was burning, and then there was something of a flash as they both burned brighter, then returned to their normal coloring. Quistis closed her eyes, taking a deep breath. The feelings that had just rushed through her were indescribable and beyond belief. Nerves that she never knew she had tingled with the sudden burst of energy. Then, her euphoric high quickly faded as she realised what had just happened.  
'I just sold my soul to the devil,' she thought numbly. Selphie shrieked. "AUUGH! Quistis and SEIFER?!" A bombshell exploded in the back of her mind and she snapped out of the dazed state she had been in. "I JUST SOLD MY SOUL TO SEIFER!"  
"Actually," Squall pointed out helpfully. "He didn't pay you anything."  
Quistis glared, then turned to Edea. "There has to be some way you can undo this!" she pleaded. Edea shook her head sadly. "I-I am sorry...there's nothing I can do," she replied quietly.  
Hot tears began to burn in Quistis' eyes. Zell put his arm around her, and she leaned against him for support. She hated to admit it, she thought it made her look weak and silly, but like most girls, she dreamed of meeting Mr. Right someday. Of the prince who would sweep her off her feet and charm her. Being stuck with Seifer was bad enough. What made it unbearable knowing she would never meet the prince. A few tears escaped her eyes at the thought, and she buried her face in Zell's shoulder, trying to hide them. After a moment, she lifted her head, hoping no one could see the shine in her eyes.  
"So I'm stuck with Seifer for good?" she asked, trying to keep her voice from shaking.  
"Well, maybe not.." Edea said thoughtfully. Quistis' heart lept. There was a way to get out of this? Edea continued, "For now, you are. But if you were ever to meet the person you are destined to be with, the enchantment with Seifer would be dissolved."  
"The person I'm destined to be with?" Quistis echoed.   
"Yes," Edea replied. "Provided that it isn't Seifer, of course."  
Quistis nearly laughed, but stopped herself in time. Well, of course it wasn't Seifer. And she still had a chance to meet the right person. And get rid of Seifer. She was so relieved.   
Seifer finally whistled sharply, drawing everyone's attention back to him. "Could I bother someone enough to explain WHAT is going on here?" Everyone looked uncomfortably at each other, avoiding his gaze. "Well, Zell, you're good with words," Rinoa spoke up.  
"WHAT?! No way, Selphie should do it!"  
"Shouldn't Quistis? It's her and him, after all."  
"What do you mean, 'her and him'?" Seifer said, narrowing his eyes.  
Edea cleared her throat. "Seifer, we were up here with Rinoa and Squall to......"  
  
  
Seifer just stared. Edea had explained everything again. There was one part he took note of. The part about being stuck with Quistis.  
"Oh, HEEELL no!" he finally yelled. "No way in HELL am I gonna have any part of this!"  
"Well, Seifer, you really don't have any choice-" Edea began."Whaddya mean, I don't have any choice? I didn't hear anyone asking MY opinion! No one asked me if I wanted to do this! You can't make me spend Hyne-knows-how-long with some...some chick against my will!" Selphie stamped her foot angrily. "Look here, Seifer! How do you think Quisty feels?! She's stuck with YOU! YOU!! You're LUCKY to have her! She saved your life, and she gets PUNISHED with YOU for eternity! You should be thanking her!" Seifer stared at Quistis for a minute. "I never asked for your help," he finally said coldly, stalking out of the room. Quistis watched him go. 'I have to learn to deal with THAT?' she thought. Selphie patted her shoulder, trying to be comforting. All of a sudden, Quistis felt like she might cry again."I..I better go after him..." Quistis stammered, running out of the room. She ran all the way to her dorm. Locking the door behind her, she flung herself down on the bed and burst into tears.  
  
  
After half an hour, her head began to ache. She wasn't sure if it was from crying, or if it was what Edea had meant by physical pain at being separated from Seifer. She wiped her face as best as she could, then went to the nearest rest room to wash. Luckily, no one saw her. She splashed cold water on her face and waited till her skin didn't look as puffy and blotchy. Then she left the rest room.  
And ran into Seifer just down the hallway. She wasn't sure if she should call out to him or he wanted to be left alone. Luckily, he came to her. He studied her face critically for a minute, and something changed in his eyes. She blushed, knowing he could see the tearmarks. Now he thought she was weak. Then he shook his head and walked away. She watched him go, too stunned to call after him.  
Early that evening, Quistis knocked on his dorm room. He opened the door and stared at her. After an uncomfortable pause, she asked, "Can I come in?" He walked away, leaving the door open. She took that as a yes, and followed him. He flopped back on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. She looked around, realising that she had just entered Abaddon. "So," she spoke after a moment, noticing a container of aspirin on his night table, "I guess you've been having head aches like Edea was talking about, too." He snatched the bottle off the table, gripping it in his hand out of her sight, but didn't respond. She sat down at his desk chair. "Seifer, I know you don't like this, but it's not much fun for me, either. But we're stuck together, and I'm staying right here. My migraine has finally gone away. Edea was right." He still didn't answer, not even looking at her. She sighed in frustration, then picked up a book off the desk. After reading for about 15 minutes, she said half to herself, "This is some advanced stuff. Mental conditions? Schizophrenia? The brain and how it functions?" He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "I'm going to get something to eat," he announced. Standing up, he walked out of the dorm. Pausing in the doorway, he turned back to her for a minute, then left. She knew that was her invitation to come along. Quickly setting the book down, she hurried after him.  
  
  
Seifer sat down at a table in a secluded corner of the cafeteria. She sat across from him and began eating her salad. She was getting used to the silence between them. Looking around the cafeteria, she laughed, holding her fork up in mid-air. Seifer glared at her suspiciously. "What's so funny?" She set the fork down and laughed again. "Look at them stare! I never thought about it, really, but what a sight we must be, for all the attention we're getting."  
Seifer followed her gaze and chuckled, seeing 5 girls at a table staring, their mouths agape, whispering among themselves. "Quistis Trepe eating dinner with former student Seifer Almasy, who happens to be the most talked about guy at Garden now...sitting at a table for two.. with the guy who tried to kill her..." He trailed off, his face darkening. He shook his head slightly as if trying to get rid of the sudden unexpected thought, then leaned over and stole a slice of tomato out of her salad. Winking at the girls, he ate it. They all turned away in surprise with a few nervous giggles, continuing to whisper to each other. He smirked. "Well, you're back in the spot light, Quistis."  
  
They spent the rest of the evening much more relaxed than they had been. Quistis was wary around him- when a guy tries to kill you, it tends to have that effect on you- but found the fact that he was unarmed quite comforting. After the experience at dinner, he became more talkative, and there was less tension between them. She still didn't trust him, or like him very much, but they were getting along at least. They finished eating, then walked around Garden for awhile. Quistis returned to her dorm after awhile, figuring she'd spend the rest of the night there. That is, until she woke up at around midnight feeling sicker than she had ever had in her entire life. After awhile, she slowly began making her way to Seifer's dorm. She hesitated in front of his door. It was after midnight, after all. Another wave of nausea passed over her, and she quickly knocked on the door, struggling to stay upright. There was a groan from inside, then a loud bang, and then some muttered cursing. The door swung open and Seifer stood, glaring at her. She blushed, seeing him shirtless. "Oh, it's you," he said simply, walking away, leaving the door open again. She followed him into the dorm, shutting the door behind her. She watched him right his desk chair and realised that the noise was him knocking it over. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.  
"I-I wasn't feeling well." she replied. His attitude made her nervous. He was much larger, and stronger, than she was, and they both knew it. Not to mention his previous repeated attacks on her. The logical part of her knew he wouldn't do anything, being at Garden meant too much to him. He was lucky for a second chance, he'd never get a third. But the part of her that remembered his Hyperion flying towards her and the blood thirsty look in his eyes made her unconsciously take a step away from him.  
He frowned slightly, watching her move farther away. "I'm going to bed. If you want to stay here, you can sleep on the floor." He climbed back under his covers, then sat up. Pulling a blanket off of him, he tossed it to her on the floor wordlessly. Then he lay back down on his side, turning his back to her before she could say anything.   
  
  
Quistis was leaning over him, shaking his arm. "Seifer, Seifer, calm down." He sat up abruptly, drenched in a cold sweat. "Where's Rinoa's dorm?" he gasped breathlessly.   
"It was just a nightmare, calm d-"   
He pushed her hand off of his arm. "Where's Rinoa?! Where's her dorm?!"  
"Seifer-"  
He jumped out of the bed, even though she fought to keep him down. "Tell me the fuckin' number!"  
Her eyes widened in surprise. "214." He raced out of the room, tearing down the hallways till he reached her room. He pounded on the door. She answered the door after awhile, looking tired. Squall stood behind her. Seeing Seifer there, Rinoa straightened up, suddenly wide awake. "Seifer? What are-"  
He closed her in a hug, clinging to her, burying his face in her hair. "You're all right," he whispered. "You're fine." She put her arms around him, hugging him back. He held her closer, tightening his grip as though he was afraid she'd disappear. "You're all right," he kept repeating. After awhile, he broke away from her abruptly. He took one last long look at her, then turned abruptly and walked away. Rinoa and Squall both stared after him. Quistis was torn between going after him and staying with her friends. She realised that, while Squall and Rinoa were just confused, Seifer was hurting. A lot.  
She ran down the hallway after him.  
  
  
Seifer tapped his straw against the table. He was nervous. Quistis had wanted to go to the cafeteria and talk to Selphie or something. He shrugged and told her to do whatever she wanted. After about 40 minutes, he began feeling dizzy and followed her to the cafeteria. Of course, he was too stubborn to go up to her and admit he was coming after her, so instead he sat down at a table by himself, trying not to draw her attention. But sitting by himself had problems, too. Like making him feel incredibly self conscious. He didn't care much for the cafeteria since his return to Garden. Too many gossipy snots. He went when he was hungry. And always with Fujin and Raijin. Now, not only was he not hungry, but he was left all alone. So he sat tapping his straw, looking down at the table, and hoping everyone would simply ignore him.   
He had no such luck. He heard a chair across the table from him scratch on the floor as it was pulled out and someone sat down. He took a breath, then slowly looked up.  
It was Squall.   
"What do you want?" Seifer demanded tiredly. He knew eventually Squall would show up, asking about last night.  
"Seifer, what...what happened ?"   
"I..I had a dream," Seifer began, lost in his thoughts. "This dream where I...I took Rinoa. I took her and forced her to Adel..." He paused for a moment, then, gazing out a window, asked, "I really did that, didn't I?"  
"Yeah.." Squall said quietly. Seifer nodded, absorbing this new information. After a few minutes, he pulled himself out of his thoughts and turned his attention back to Squall. "So I had this dream where, well, I hurt Rinoa. I tried to kill her. And... I guess I just panicked. I woke up, and it was like the dream was so real- because I guess it was- and...I just...I had to make sure she was all right.."  
"Do you still love her?" Squall asked seriously.  
Seifer shook his head. "Nah. I never did. She was a friend. When she was around, I didn't feel as alone. And she was 16, and wanted to be in love, and I happened to be around. So she convinced herself she loved me...she just wanted someone to love her. But what we had, it never turned out that way. But I always thought she was a friend, and thinking that I killed her..." he trailed off, then gazed over at Quistis a few tables away. "I didn't love Rinoa. You don't love Quistis, but if you thought you were responsible for hurting her..."  
Squall nodded. "I see what you mean." He paused, then asked, "So...you really don't remember what happened when you were..I mean, when.." he hesitated again, unsure of what to say.  
"No." Seifer replied. "Not really. I know things that I did, I've heard the stories. I didn't know about Rinoa, though..." He looked away again through the window.  
Squall was lost for words. Edea had explained that Seifer had somehow blocked out all of his memories. He had grown up with Seifer and, while they didn't always get along, world domination was something he didn't think even Seifer would attempt. They fought, and competed, and argued but...in a way, Seifer was like him. They were the same, and they were different. But he could understand Seifer, and Seifer could understand him. Better than most people could. He had been genuinely sorry when he thought Seifer died. He had been almost in awe when Seifer attempted to kill Deling. He had been shocked when he found Seifer working with the Sorceress. Even as hard as it had been originally to see Seifer as the enemy, now he finally did. Seifer was now, in his mind, the bad guy. And here he was, confusing him again, making Squall almost believe it wasn't all Seifer's fault. He had a hard time buying it when Edea fed them that line about Seifer being possessed like she was. But part of him couldn't help but see how much sense that actually made. Now, talking to Seifer, he looked so serious, so believable, when he denied knowing what he had done as a Knight. Still, he knew Seifer as the bad guy, and it was too hard to see it any other way. But there was the doubt in the back of his mind, the curiousity, the questions. How could Seifer not remember?  
Squall stood up. "Don't worry...Rinoa was fine. You didn't hurt her..."   
Seifer moved his gaze to the table, still avoiding Squall's eyes.  
"...I have to go now.." Squall said lamely, not knowing what else to say. All of a sudden, he desperately wanted out of this conversation. Talking with Seifer made him think too much. It brought up too many questions he couldn't answer. He liked the way it was before, when it was simple. He was the good guy, Seifer was the bad guy, Edea was the innocent victim and Ultemecia was the enemy. Black and white.  
Seifer said nothing. Squall turned and left, leaving Seifer alone once again.  
  
  
  



	3. Fire and Ice

Authors Notes: First, disclaimor, don't own the characters. I'm too pressed for time now to think of something cute. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and the poll is still on, do you want this to end up as a Quiefer? Review and let me know. Sorry this chapter took so long! Sweatdrops  
  
  
My Sad Obsession  
  
Chapter 3: Fire and Ice  
  
  
Throwing open his dorm door, he saw Quistis sitting at his desk, reading. Concealing his surprise, he ignored her.   
She looked up from her book. "Hello, Seifer." He grunted in response, dropping his class books on the desk.   
She tried again. "Doesn't Raijin share a room with you? I'm surprised I haven't seen him yet." He sat down on the bed, taking off his trenchcoat.   
"I guess that's what a good threat does," he answered.  
She tried to supress a smile. "You threatened him?" Quistis asked in amusement.  
Seifer shrugged. "I told him I wanted to be left alone. He and Fujin are used to it. He's probably with her now."  
Quistis looked at him thoughtfully. "It must be nice to have friends like that...You're never alone."   
He turned to look at her. "I'm always alone," he replied flatly. His eyes flashed, but he didn't say it with pain or sorrow, it was simply as if he was stating a fact.   
She swallowed and turned away, unable to meet his eyes for fear that they'd burn right through her. After awhile, she replied slowly, "I understand that, I suppose."   
He nodded, and watched her for a moment, not asking her to say anymore. He could read in between the lines. He could also see that she felt like talking about her feelings about as much as he did. Heaven forbid the Ice Queen dare show something as mundane as emotion, he thought. No, that would be a weakness. He smirked slightly. She looked at him quizzically, and he had this urge to provoke her. He wanted to make her scream, laugh, cry, something, just to show she was human. To get some kind of reaction from her, something he had never managed to do. All the time he had spent in her class, him as the student and her as the teacher, and all the tricks that he pulled, all the nasty comments he had made. And still, the most he had received from her was mild annoyance, if that.   
"We're not so different, you know," she added, knowing the words were a lie as soon as they came out of her mouth. They were completely different. He was immature and thoughtless, she was calm and considerate. She just wanted to imagine she knew what he was thinking, that she could relate to him somehow.  
He nodded in agreement, but in his mind, he knew it was a lie to even think they were anything the same. He did what he wanted, she did as she was told. 18 and never free, that was how he saw her. But he was too tired to correct her. For a change, he just wanted to pretend like he was like her. Like everyone else. And he knew she just wanted to act like she could read him. He nearly snorted at the thought. Ridiculous of her to think she could understand him. He couldn't understand him. Funny how someone who could never show her own feelings always seemed so concerned with everyone elses. She looked at him, slight confusion in her eyes. All of a sudden, he was irritated again. He practically laughed in her face. And she wasn't hurt, or angry, or much of anything.   
He shook his head in disgust. "Forget it. I have to go, anyways." Standing up, he left her there, never once giving her a second look.  
  
  
She let herself into his dorm late that night after a meeting with Cid. She noticed with surprise that he had left the door unlocked for her. Running into his desk chair, she wished he had left a light on, too. Cursing under her breath, she snatched the blanket she had used yesterday off the chair. For a moment, she considered taking Raijin's bed, but the idea of sleeping in a strangers bed without their permission bothered her. Opting for the floor, she settled for just taking a pillow off his bed and stretched out on the floor. 'Seifer sleeps like an egg beater,' she thought. 'I'll be up all night listening to him toss and turn.' Suddenly, she heard him let out a strangled cry. Bolting upright, she went over to him. He was having another nightmare. She hesitated to wake him up, remembering what had happened the last time. Then he cried out again, and she couldn't let him keep suffering through his dream. She began shaking his shoulders gently. He pulled away from her, but she continued till his eyes flew open. He sat up, sweat running from his face. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he bent over at his waist, folding his arms in front of him as a shield. Quistis sat next to him. He ignored her, continuing to stare straight ahead. She put her hand on his shoulder and he flinched as though she had dropped an ice cube on his arm. He pushed her arm away.   
"Don't touch me!"   
"Seifer, I just want to help."  
He turned to her, eyes blazing. "I never asked for your help," he growled.  
She stiffened. "Fine. Forget it," she replied coldly. Standing up, she turned her back on him, returning to her bed on the floor.  
  
  
  
Squall glanced down the hallway. Seeing no one was looking, he quietly opened Selphie's dorm door. Closing the door gently behind him, he whispered, "Selphie, I made it."  
"Oh, Squall, I'm so glad you came!" she squealed in a hushed tone. He walked over to her bed and sat down. Rinoa put her arm around him and squeezed his shoulder in greeting.   
"Yo," Zell said in a low voice from his seat on the floor by the desk. Irvine simply raised his hat. All the guys were trying to remain as quiet as possible. Not only was it after curfew, but they were never supposed to be in the girls dorms at ANY time. If someone heard them, there was going to be more than a little bit of trouble.   
"Anyways," Selphie continued. "We were just talking about Quistis and Seifer."  
Squall nodded. "What about them?"  
Selphie's mouth dropped open. "What ABOUT them?! Quistis is stuck with that goon!"  
"Shh," Irvine warned her.   
"But didn't you hear Matron? There's nothing we can do," Squall replied.  
Zell nodded. "All that can undo it is Quistis or Seifer meeting the right person."  
Selphie beamed. "Exactly!"  
Irvine wrinkled his brow in confusion. "..Exactly?"  
She rolled her eyes. "If the only thing that can break them up is meeting the right person...then...."  
"We have to make them meet the right person!" Rinoa finished.  
"Exactly!" Selphie repeated. Grabbing a piece of paper off of her desk, she continued, "Now, who do we try first? Who seems like Quisty's type?" Whispering among themselves, they compiled a list of possible suitors.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	4. Discovered

Authors Notes: Auuugh. Bad Abby! Okay, I am soooo sorry that this took so long to post. I have a million excuses, but still, I HATE waiting for authors to finish their stories. I always want the next chapter NOW, and I've made all of you wait months for me to get back to writing. However, I broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks ago...and well, you know how that is. It didn't end very well, and I really couldn't stand the idea of sitting down to write a romance, of all things. And I was afraid if I did, my emotions would interfere with the story, and it wouldn't turn out as well as I wanted, and the story would get all dark and unhappy and then I'd end up writing myself into a corner, and it would never turn out like I meant. Special thanks to Tigress for e-mailing me about my story, it pushed me to finish once I realised people were actually waiting to see the next chapter...Plus, it was just a nice boost, to see people actually like this story that much! ^_^ Everyone! Go ahead! E-mail me! I like it! And, I promise, I'll try to push out these next chapters as quickly as I can, in an attempt to make up for the wait!  
  
My Sad Obsession  
  
Chapter 4: Discovered.  
  
  
She woke up early the next morning to be greeted by a pair of boots in front of her face. Lifting her head, she found pants attached to the boots, and, as her eyes continued upwards, she found the rest of Seifer, scribbling at his desk.   
"Good morning."  
"Mornin'," he replied, not looking up.  
"How long have you been up?" she asked. He paused in his writing, but never answered. She wondered if he had ever gone back to sleep after his nightmare. Looking at the basket full of crumpled notebook paper, she doubted it.   
He looked up at her suddenly, dropping his pen. "Hey, you wanna go for a walk or something? I'm getting sick of this room."  
She stood up, stretching in an oversized shirt that was serving as a nightgown.   
"Just let me get changed first," she said, hurrying off to the bathroom. He stood up and paced around the room till she returned, fully dressed and her hair brushed and pinned up like usual.  
"Shall we?" he asked, crooking his elbow for her to take him by the arm. She ignored the gesture, walking ahead of him out of the dorm. He stared after her, his eyes sparkling in amusement.  
"Independant, isn't she?" he muttered to himself.   
Overhearing, she called back from the hallway, "I don't intend to become an arm decoration." His raised an eyebrow, but simply followed her out to the hallway.  
"Where did you want to go?" Quistis asked.  
"Anywhere, I just needed a change. Why don't we-" he stopped suddenly and stiffened, seeing Rinoa and Squall ahead of them, walking down the hall together. It lasted the briefest moment, and she almost believed she had imagined it. "..Uh, why don't we go outside?" he finished. Squall and Rinoa turned down the library hallway, never noticing Quistis and Seifer behind them.  
After a moment, Quistis spoke up. "I wouldn't worry about it."  
"What?" Seifer asked, sounding genuinely puzzled.  
"About Squall and Rinoa," she replied. She paused, then added, "She couldn't be the one for you or our enchantment would be broken."  
Seifer pushed open the front door. Walking outside, he squinted his eyes against the bright sunshine. He shook his head and replied, "I know she's not the one. Spell or not."  
"Then why did you act like that just now, seeing Squall and Rinoa?" Quistis asked quietly.  
Seifer sighed. "It's just...one day, it's me and her...and then, next thing I know, it's her and Squall. I didn't get any time for a transition. Imagine being in a coma for 3 months. You wake up and see your girlfr- well, boyfriend for you- kiss another girl. Everyone else has had those 3 months to get used to it. But not you, in your mind you think...you think it's still you....I heard they were going out, but it's different when you see it. Your first instinct is like, "Hey, the hell is he doing to my girl," you know? Then you have to remember, she's NOT your girl. You're just the leftovers."  
He gave her a sideways glance. "What about you? I remember you used to have the hots for Leonhart."  
Quistis blushed slightly. "I guess we're both leftovers. It was ridiculous to think it would ever work. By the time Rinoa showed up, I realised I had never had a chance to begin. I was his TEACHER. Then I found out I had known Squall as a child...it explained why I thought I loved him. Once I understood my feelings, they were easier to deal with."  
Seifer frowned. "What do you mean, you found out you knew Squall as a kid? We were all at Garden as kids, you knew that."  
Quistis gasped, realising that Seifer had never heard about the orphanage when she had. He looked at her, his brow furrowed in confusion.   
"Uh...Seifer, do you...do you remember where you lived, before you came to Garden?"  
He looked at her sharply. "Yes, I lived in an orphanage." His voice was tense.  
She nodded. "Do you remember who ran the orphanage? Or who you lived with, the other kids?"  
He frowned slightly, his brow wrinkling again as he thought. After awhile, he shook his head. "No."  
"Cid ran the orphange, Cid and Edea. That's how you got into Garden."  
He looked at her, eyes wide in surprise. Then his eyes darkened.   
"How do you know all this?" he asked suspiciously. "Did you read my files or something?"  
She shook her head. "No...I was there. I grew up at that orphanage. So did Squall... and Zell, Irvine...Selphie... we all grew up together, till we were separated."  
Seifer's mouth opened, then closed. He opened his mouth slightly again and finally breathed, "Oh, man.."  
"We all forgot, most likely because of our GF use. Irvine never used one at Galbadia, and he still remembered. He told the rest of us."  
"But...but how were you at an orphanage with me ? I thought you didn't come to Garden till you were like 10, years after me."  
"8," she corrected him. "I was in a new home for awhile with an adopted family but...things didn't work out there." Changing the subject, she said, "At the orphanage, I always tried to protect Squall, like his older sister. At Garden, I had forgotten about him, exactly, and how I knew him. But I had the same instinct to protect him. Once Irvine reminded us of the orphanage, I realised I had mistaken that instinct for love. I was confusing love for Squall as his sister figure for real, true, fairy tale love," she finished, blushing again at showing her romantic side.  
After a moment, he turned back to her. "Do you really believe there's such a thing? Real love? Soulmates?" he inquired.  
"...I think so. From what Matron said, there must be. Or else how could we break the enchantment? Do you?"  
He thought. "It seems pretty farfetched to me. Two people destined for each other? It sounds like something people want to believe in to make themselves feel better about their lives. Someone will come along some day and fix everything."  
"Maybe it's not really so much whether or not it exists that matters, but the hope," she mused. "I can see where your doubts come from. Especially when you see so many unfaithful couples, so many people that turn their head during a slow dance to check out another pretty girl. How can that be love? Can one person be enough, can they really satisfy another their whole life? Then why are so many people unfaithful?"  
"That's an entirely different question," he replied seriously. "Love and sex are two different things. C'mon, let's go back inside." He began walking towards the doors, pulling them open.  
Quistis followed after him. "I guess I wouldn't really know," she replied, a faint blush creeping across her face.   
He looked at her, then was silent for a long time. Finally, he said, "You, uh, you've never...been with a man?"  
She shook her head. " I know that must seem pretty silly to you, you have a whole list of girls.."  
He grinned lopsidedly, glad for a chance to lighten the serious tone of the conversation. "What can I say? The ladies love me."  
She rolled her eyes. "You don't have a clue what women want."  
He simply smirked more, stopping at his door and searching through his pockets. His smile faded abruptly.   
"I forgot the f#$%*@ key." He ran his hand through his hair, looking down at the ground. He let out an agitated sigh, then suddenly raised his shoulder, throwing himself at the door and breaking it open. Quistis stared, eyes wide in surprise. He turned to face her. Noticing the look on her face, he said, "What? You wanted in, didn't you?"  
She dissolved in startled laughter, shaking her head. "You're wild!"  
He flashed her that crooked grin again. "I do it in style." Still giggling, she followed him into the dorm.  
"So, are you going to inform me of what it is women desire, since you claim I'm so clueless?" he asked. She shivered slightly, his eyes piercing thru her and sending a maddening chill up her spine. She turned away and sat on the bed, as if she feared he would read her mind to find the answer to his question.  
"Women want...Women want someone who listens to them. Women want details,"  
"Details?" he echoed questioningly, sitting next to her.  
"Yes...." Quistis pulled her legs up to her, wrapping her arms over her knees. "We want a guy who will go out and buy us flowers. Not any flowers, daffodills, because he remembers a week ago, when we mentioned that they were our favorite flowers. It's not that he bought flowers...it's that they were daffodills. He remembered the details."  
"What about all the sappy shit? Roses and poetry and candles?"  
She smiled. "That doesn't hurt, either."  
"See, I told you. I know what women like."  
"Well, you've never written ME poetry," she retorted.  
"Doesn't seem to matter much. You've spent the last two nights with me, without the verse," he shot back, grinning wickedly.  
She rolled her eyes. "Seifer, you could not write enough poetry in a LIFETIME to impress me. Get over yourself."  
"Wanna bet?" he said in a low voice, leaning towards her. "C'mon, you know you want me, admit it."  
"In your dreams."  
Grabbing her arms, he pinned her back to the bed. "Say it."  
She squirmed, trying to break away from him.  
"Get off me!"  
"C'mon, say it. Seifer is the hottest guy at Garden," he teased.  
She continued to struggle. "Never!" she exclaimed defiantly.  
The door swung open.  
  
"Oh! Oh, sorry Seifer, didn't mean to interrupt, ya kn-Instructor?!"  
In surprise, Seifer let go of Quistis. Scrambling away from him, she fell off the bed. Standing up, she gasped, "It-It's not how it looks, Raijin!", smoothing out her skirt.   
Seifer raised an eyebrow, looking mildly amused at Quistis' behavior. Calmly he said, "Raijin, as if I'd be fooling around with Instructor Trepe."  
Raijin looked skeptical. "Sure looks like you was, ya know?"  
Seifer sighed. "Without a towel on the door?" For some reason, this made perfect sense to Raijin. "Oh, yea, no towel. Couldn't a been skulking around, ya know?"  
"What did you want, Raijin?" Seifer asked.  
"I was just wondering, ya know, if I can come back to my dorm."  
Seifer looked at Quistis, then back at Raijin. "We have class in about 20 minutes. Let's head up to the second floor and talk on the way there," Seifer said finally. Raijin's face showed a mix of curiousity, confusion, and apprehension. "A-all right.."  
"After class, we'll get lunch with Fujin, why don't you go tell her? I'll meet you at her dorm."  
"Okay, I'll go find her. Later, Instructor, gotta get ready for class, ya know." He left, and Seifer stood silently, smirking at her, his eyes cold. "Don't worry. He won't tell anyone. You don't have to freak out about everyone hearing you were in my dorm. We wouldn't want that. I may taint your spotless reputation," he said bitterly.  
"It's not-Seifer!" she called after him as he stormed out, slamming the door. Sighing, she slowly sat down on the bed. "I'm not ashamed of you..." she finished.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	5. Acceptance

Authors Notes: I'm glad Fanfiction.net is back up, and I can log in to post this chapter...it's been sitting on my computer for about 3 weeks. Special thanks to Tigris for proof-reading my story for me, and helping me name this chapter! Also, I'm afraid I'm starting to stray from being true to Seifer's character. If anyone reads through this and has a little voice saying, "Seifer wouldn't do that!", please tell me. If you rant and rave, I'll ignore you, but if you explain exactly what didn't settle right for you, and seem to have a valid point, I'll try to fix it.  
  
Chapter 5: Acceptance  
  
Scanning the cafeteria tables, she noticed Zell, Irvine and Selphie gathered together at a table in the center of the cafeteria. Instead, she headed towards the far corner of the cafeteria, her eyes falling upon a familiar trench coat. She set her tray on the table with a firm bang, as if daring anyone else in the cafeteria to challenge her choice of tables. Sitting next to Fujin, she received a surprised look from both her and Seifer.   
"Hey, Instructor, just eating lunch, ya know?" Raijin greeted her.   
"Hello Raijin, Fujin, Seifer." She leaned over the table to Seifer, sitting across from her. Quistis pointed with her fork to an astonished Trepie. He followed her gaze towards the Trepie, but remained emotionless. Turning back to her, he watched as she snagged a bite of lasanga from his plate. Winking at Seifer, she ate it, never looking back at the Trepie's reaction. Reading his eyes, she knew he understood.   
"By the way, Raijin, call me Quistis."  
  
*************************************************************  
  
"I remember you now, a little. You and Squall stick out in my memory the most. You, the bossy little blond bombshell."  
"Are you sure you aren't thinking of Zell?" Quistis teased.  
"Chicken-wuss? Nah, you were the bossy one, always trying to be everyone's mother. Looking for Edea's approval," Seifer replied.  
"I think we all did...we looked up to Matron."  
He shook his head. "You were different. You still are...always trying to be everything to everyone, to do what they want you to do. That's why I can't believe you did that in front of that Trepie at lunch. Aren't you afraid of falling from grace in his eyes?"  
"I couldn't care less about that," she said indifferently, lying back on the bed. "I'm just worried about you getting in trouble. I mean, I'm not supposed to be here. And don't you think everyone's just waiting for a chance to get you expelled?"  
"Nah," Seifer answered casually. "See, the guys dorms are a different world, hon."  
She made a face, wrinkling her nose. "Don't call me that."  
Continuing as if he hadn't heard her, he said, "Guys aren't nearly as vindictive as you girls tend to be. We see, or hear, a chick in a guys dorm, applaud for them, and return to our own lives. It's a code of honor among us. You don't rat another guy for getting some action."  
"You aren't GETTING any action," Quistis reminded him.  
He snorted. "They don't know that. Like sneaking into my dorm after midnight looks like a social call."  
"Tell them we're reliving old childhood memories."  
"I could do that, if we actually had any. I still don't remember Selphie or Irvine."  
"You've never really met Irvine or Selph, though, have you? You don't know them now, to remind you of anyone from back then," Quistis answered thoughtfully.  
Seifer paused for a moment to consider this. "Good point.."  
"That's probably why you remember Squall and I the clearest," she continued.  
"Nah, doubt it," he replied. "You two pissed me off the most, that's all."  
"...We did?" she questioned.  
"Yeah, Squall was always acting like a hot shot. He had the crazy idea somehow he was better than me. Obviously, he never got over it."  
"What about me?"   
He looked at her from his seat next to her on the bed, studying her. After a moment, he simply said, "I never understood you." Changing the subject, he said, "I don't remember Zell exactly, but I remember a kid that must have been him. He was a whiny little shit."  
Quistis laughed. "He wasn't as much of a rebel as you, at least."  
"I'm trying to remember Irvine, but I just can't picture some little kid dressed like a cowboy."  
She shook her head. "No, you've got it all wrong. He wasn't like that then."  
"No ponytail?"  
"No ponytail."  
He wrinkled his forehead in concentration. After a minute, he let out a frustrated sigh. "All I can think of for some reason is playing down by the lighthouse, and you running from Zell and snagging your braid on the fence."  
"Then you got mad and tried to make Zell eat sand!" Quistis finished.   
He smirked and moved farther away on the bed, then stretched out and lay back on the bed. "Then we mashed up those berries and made war paint."  
Quistis' eyes went wide. "Matron was furious!"  
  
  
Time passed and afternoon became night as they sat in Seifer's dorm, sharing childhood stories and encouraging each others memories to resurface. Ocassionally, one of them would touch on a memory of sorrow, but the conversation would quickly turn back to a happier, amusing moment at the orphanage.   
"Do you remember a girl there? She had dark hair, but I'm positive she wasn't Selphie...You were in awe of her," Seifer questioned.  
"An older girl, right? That was Ellone, Squall's sister."  
"Yeah, that must be her. Ellone. You changed after she left," Seifer replied, his voice sounding distant.   
"What do you mean?" Quistis asked.  
He turned to face her, but didn't really seem to be seeing her. His eyes were gazing someplace beyond her, his mind back at the orphanage all those years ago. "Just...you were always this small, quiet little girl, always by the wall getting picked on. Not MEAN things...just the things children do. Pulling your hair, hiding a toy, kid things like that. And you were quiet and didn't really fight back. You just accepted it. And after Ellone left...you became more...dominate, really. You didn't need anyone to make sure you weren't bullied. You were the one making sure the other kids weren't teased."   
  
(You didn't need me anymore)  
  
  
  
As the conversation went on, Quistis began to remember Seifer much clearer. He was the same, and yet very different. Always a smart-ass tough guy, that seemed to be in his blood. But, all those years ago, he seemed more like a protector, the one who fought for her, who backed down anyone who tried to harrass her. Still, even then, he managed to keep the same attitude that he wasn't actually TRYING to help her. No, he didn't care less about her. He just wanted a good fight, or his own revenge on whoever was tormenting her, or he was bored. It simply happened to conveniently help her, as well. And from that, a friendship grew between them, though neither of them ever admitted it. They both knew it was there. And they both needed that friendship for their own reasons. Recalling the way Seifer had been as a child, the way he had treated her, the things they had shared, the jokes, the secrets, the experiences they went through...It changed the way she saw Seifer. And as they continued talking, and his eyes slowly began to soften when he looked at her, she knew that his opinion of her had been altered as well.   
Finally, she stood up, stretching her legs. "It's late, Seifer. I'm going to start getting ready for bed." She walked into the bathroom. "Do you remember a field? It sticks out in my mind for some reason," she called, putting toothpaste on her tooth brush.  
"Field," he muttered. His mind ached with all the things he was trying to remember, and yet he was enjoying the conversation, recalling all these long-forgotten details and stories and trying to re-live them in his mind. He thought for a moment, then answered, "I remember a lot of field land there. It was pretty rural, after all. And we all played outside a lot, probably in the field."  
Several moments passed, then Quistis rinsed off her toothbrush. Walking back into the room, she grabbed some clothes to change into. "So the field doesn't stand out at all?" she questioned, breaking into his thoughts.  
"No...just the opposite. It seems different somehow. It's something significant. I just don't remember why."  
"Me either...maybe you're right, it's just because we spent a great deal of time there," she answered, going back into the bathroom to change.  
He closed his eyes, searching.   
Field.  
Waving stalks of golden wheat.  
Sunshine.  
Running through the field.  
All of a sudden, something in his mind clicked. He wasn't picturing the field anymore, he was remembering it.   
  
The feel of the grass snapping against his knees as he ran.  
The whistle of a dove nearby.   
The smell of the sunshine after it warmed the dew on the grass.   
He could feel smooth skin held in his hand, the skin of someone's wrist as he led them behind him.   
"Hurry up!"  
"I'm trying, Seif!" a voice answered behind him. The voice was high, a young girl with a lilting voice.   
He let go of her arm, running ahead and throwing himself to the ground in a hollow behind a small hill in the field. A hollow where they were hidden from the eyes of those at the orphanage. His private territory.  
He heard her fall to the ground behind him, the wheat crackling under her as she lay there, gasping to catch her breath. He was breathing heavily as well, trying to hide it, so that he would look stronger and more fit than her. He stood up and turned around to where a little girl lay sprawled on the ground, her blond hair in disarray. He frowned at her, taking her hands and helping her up.  
"How are you supposed to make SeeD if you can hardly even run?"  
She glared, putting her hands on her hips."Matron says I'll be a SeeD long before you will!"   
"Yeah, right. You're a girl."  
"So? Matron says you'll never get to be a SeeD. You're in time-out too much."  
"I won't be in time-out at Garden, dummy."  
  
  
The bathroom door clicked open, startling him out of his daydream.   
"Did you fall asleep?" Quistis asked, sounding surprised.  
He frowned a little, sitting up. "I'm not sure.."   
There was silence as they looked at each other for a moment.  
"Your shirt is wrinkled," Seifer announced quietly.  
"That's because it's been sitting in a bag since 9 a.m. this morning, when I got it from my dorm."  
"You could hang it in the closet..." he replied. His tone changed, suddenly going back to his usual condescending attitude as he added, "That's what it's there for, genius." Standing up, he walked into the bathroom, shutting the door loudly behind him. Quistis smiled slightly at his behavior, then quickly made Raijin's bed. She had asked him earlier that day if he minded her using his bed, and he agreed to it rather nicely. She thought it was a small wonder that he and Seifer had ever ended up as friends at all. When she was finished, she began hanging the few clothes she had brought up in the closet. Seifer came out of the bathroom, and saw her, but said nothing. He set his alarm, then lay down in bed. After a moment, she closed the closet and turned off the light. Laying down in Raijin's bed, she began drifting off to sleep when Seifer asked, " Do you remember there being a hollow in the field where we used to hide?"  
She thought for a moment. "No..." she replied slowly. "I don't, not right now, at least. If I do, I'll tell you."  
Several minutes of silence passed, until it was interrupted by a whisper.  
"Do you remember when we used to tell stories about how our parents were going to come back for us someday?"   
  
  
******************************************************************  
  
"Yeah, right. You're a girl."  
"So? Matron says you'll never get to be a SeeD. You're in time-out too much."  
"I won't be in time-out at Garden, dummy."  
"I'd still be a SeeD long before you, if I could go to Garden. I'd train so much."  
"So go to Garden...prove it."  
"You know I can't do that, Seifer."  
"Why not?"  
"Because I have a family now. I have to go live with them. Matron says everyone gets to go to Garden if they don't have families. She says a family is better and I should be happy."  
"Are you?"  
  
*****************************************************************  
  
Her eyes blinked open the next morning. Bright sunshine glared in her eyes, and she dimly realised she had slept late. A glance at the clock confirmed that it was well into the morning, and the latest she could ever remember sleeping. Losing her instructor's license was making her too relaxed. She rubbed her eyes and looked around the room. Seifer was gone. She stood up and, assuming he must have had a class, changed her clothes. It wasn't until she was brushing out her hair that she noticed her name scrawled on a piece of paper sitting on his desk. She looked over curiously and read:  
  
Quistis:  
  
Don't say I never wrote you poetry.  
  
Sometimes roses are red  
Violets are usually blue.  
What the fuck have I ever done  
To deserve getting stuck with you?  
  
You can thank me later.  
-S  
  
She smiled, shaking her head. Grabbing a pen off the desk, she scribbled under the poem:  
  
Insensitive bastard. I told you that you couldn't impress me. After all that bragging, some ladies man you turned out to be.  
  
There was a knock, and she set the pen down. Curiously, she slowly opened the door to find Selphie and Rinoa on the other side.  
Selphie squealed. "Here we are, to save you!"  
"..Save me?"  
"From Seifer, of course!" She clapped her hands together, and hopped up and down.  
Rinoa continued for her, " We're going to break the spell!"  
"How?"  
"Just like Matron told us!" Selphie replied. "You have to meet the right guy, right? So we're gonna help you!" She squealed again, and hugged Quistis. "Just think, pretty soon you will be out of this hell!"   
"How are you going to help me?" Quistis asked warily.  
"We all met and came up with a list of guys we thought would be PERFECT for you! Guys that we trust not to be total scum, so you don't have to worry about that. Now we just get you to meet them, one at a time, of course, and see what happens!"  
"Oh, Selphie, you know I hate blind dates."  
"It's better than Seifer, right?"  
"Right.."  
"Good! Then come to the cafeteria tonight at 6:30! And don't you dare not show! We'll see you then!" Selphie said in a rush, waving before she turned to run back down the hallway. Rinoa frowned slightly at Quistis, looking thoughtful, then turned to follow Selphie. Shutting the door, Quistis shook her head. The idea of a date in less than 8 hours was daunting enough, not to mention the thought of several dates to follow. She wondered just how long this list of Selphie's was.   
Sitting down on Raijin's bed, she began thinking about just what would happen if this actually worked. She cheered up at the idea of actually meeting a guy..the guy, the right, perfect guy. Of having someone there with her, like Rinoa had Squall or Selphie had Irvine. And yet, what would happen to her and Seifer? She knew they'd never stay on friendly terms. She wondered to herself how it would be, when they went back to pretending like they didn't know each other. How it would be when she went to a dorm without Seifer there. Without his wise-ass comments. Without that ugly rag he used to polish Hyperion laying on the floor by the door all the time. How it would be, when he just wasn't there anymore.  
She hated to admit it, even to herself. But she was finally starting to get used to this arrangement.   
  
  



	6. What's Real For Now

Author's Notes: Let's see. Don't own Seifer. Don't own Quistis. Don't own FF8. Squaresoft does. I don't own Barbie either, that's Mattel, I believe.   
  
Chapter 6: What's Real For Now  
  
He glanced up from the book he was reading as the door clicked open. Through the door came Quistis, carrying a few items of clothing with her. She began hanging the clothes in the closet as Seifer fully viewed her new outfit, a knee length blue skirt and a blue sweater over a white shirt. She had blue eyeshadow dusted lightly over her eyelids and a hint of pink lipgloss on.   
"My Hyne," Seifer breathed. "You look like a giant Barbie."   
Quistis frowned. "That bad?"   
"What's the deal?" Seifer asked curiously. His tone changed to one of suspicion. "What's going on?"  
Quistis sighed and turned to completely face Seifer. "I have a date." Seifer looked startled, but said nothing. "I know, I know. When was the last time I went on a date? That's just it! I don't know what it is people DO on dates anymore, I don't even know how to dress!" she continued. "It was all Selphie's idea," Quistis added, sounding miserable.   
"First of all," Seifer replied, "People do what they've always done. The guy tries to get laid-"  
"That's what I'm afraid of," Quistis said, sounding even more depressed.  
Seifer continued, "-while the girl either willingly consents, agrees but pretends to need convincing - so as to not appear easy - or refuses." He paused, then added, "In which case, she can only hope that she's lucky enough to be with a guy who accepts her declining his invitation. Secondly, we've already established that you look like a deranged Barbie."  
She was by now looking sick with worry, as if she was about to simply crawl into the closet and die. Seifer noticed this and added quickly, "Not that that's a bad thing, most guys like the Barbie thing."  
She tried to smile, though it looked more like a grimace. "Even the deranged Barbies?"  
He grinned. "Deranged is more my style."  
She couldn't help but smile, genuinely this time.   
"And third of all, Selphie?" A smirk crept over his face. "Why in the HELL would you go along with a damn thing that Selphie would say?!"  
"Because of this," she replied, waving around the room. "She's come up with a whole list of guys for me, so that I can keep trying until I find the one that breaks us up."   
A hurt expression flashed in his eyes, but he quickly covered it up before she noticed. "What, my company's not good enough for you?" he asked in a joking tone. Deep down, though, he knew it wasn't a joke. She grinned, not catching the underlying tension in his words. "C'mon Seifer, I know you like being part of this less than me." She hesitated, then continued speaking, more to herself than anyone else. "You've made THAT clear enough." Turning away from him abruptly, she hurried into the bathroom to look in the mirror. Pulling two earrings out of her pocket, she jabbed them into her ears quickly. Seifer flinched. She pulled the clip out of her hair and it all came undone. She began brushing her hair out, twisting it up various ways and looking in the mirror.   
"I don't know what to do with it," she complained. "And I've only got about 10 minutes to fix it."  
Seifer pulled her hand away from her hair, letting it all fall back into its natural place. "Quistis," he said slowly. "Calm down. It's just one date, all right? Brush your hair out and take a deep breath." She began obediently straightening her hair. He glanced her over. "Then, just leave it down."   
"You like it that way?" she asked.  
He stiffened. "If you've only got ten minutes, you can't afford to mess around with it too much," he replied coolly.  
She glanced at him, looking slightly annoyed, then brushed it off and looked in the mirror one last time. Taking a deep breath, she announced, "I better go. The earlier I leave and GET there, the less time I'll have to change my mind."  
He only nodded. She turned and walked toward the door. Seifer raised his hand as if to pat her on the shoulder, then changed his mind and abruptly put his arm down. As she opened the door, Seifer spoke up.  
"Hey, Quistis?"  
"Yes?"  
"Don't forget to breathe. Good luck, Barbie."  
She closed the door behind her.  
  
He looked around the room, wondering what he should do now that she was gone. He could go talk to Fujin and Raijin, but he realised that he really just didn't feel like it. He certainly didn't want to go to the cafeteria. Idly, he wondered if Quistis was meeting her date in the cafeteria or the lobby. Breaking off his concentration on Quistis and her date, he went back to thinking of what plans he could make for that evening. He didn't have any more classes that night. He could go to the training center, but then he'd have to go beg for his Hyperion from Cid. Besides, in the months he had been away from Garden, he had advanced to a physical level much more advanced than anything he could fight in the training center. There was simply no real challenge left. His mind wandered back to Quistis. He wondered if this guy would be the one to break their enchantment. He wondered what it would be like when she did meet that guy, when she was gone and out of his life for good. He knew once that happened, they'd never talk again. She'd never go out of her way to find him, and their mutual friends certainly wouldn't offer chances for them to happen to be in each other's company. The feelings her circle of friends and his friends had for each other was mutual, all right, but it was a feeling of mutual hate. Hatred simply doesn't offer many opportunities for socialization. She might smile at him once in awhile if they walked by each other in a hallway, but it would be one of those fake smiles, one that would just pretend to show some sort of like between them. And if they ever did talk, that would be fake, too. The fake conversation that makes it sound like you actually give a damn about the person you're talking to, and you don't, but you talk to them anyways because you don't want them to know that you don't give a damn. They know, all right. How couldn't they know, when the conversation is so plastic that you could puke? But they don't want to show that they know, because then they'd look bitchy and cold hearted to everyone else for not caring about the person who was kind enough to pretend to give a damn about them. So you end up with two people hating each other but pretending not to, and having their stupid silly fake conversations all the damn time, with all their goddamn phony words, and by the time the conversation is over both people are so sick of each other and the fake-ness of everything that they're about to go into sugar-shock or some damn thing. He wondered to himself how it would be when they were like that. How it would be when they were talking someday and he'd realise that this was their first fake conversation. He looked around the room and wondered how it would be when Raijin was back and she was gone, and no one but him would remember these things just how they were now. When he was the only one that remembered her clothes hanging in his closet, and the poem he had written her ...or the blue and pink hair brush she always placed in just the right spot on his dresser... the way they stayed up till it was nearly dawn, trying to remember their past together. He might be the only person who realised that she grinded her teeth just slightly while she slept, or noticed how she always ate the tomatoes first in her salad. When Raijin was back, and she was gone, he might be the only one who remembered any of this. Then it would be like it had never happened at all. He looked around the room, at her clothes, at her shoes next to Raijin's bed, at the bottle of shampoo she had set on the desk in her hurry to get ready for her date. And he wondered to himself how it would be, when she just wasn't there anymore. 


End file.
